What seems to be the problem, ociffer?

Adam 'Pacman' Jones just can't catch a break these days. This latest incident, in which it is "alleged" that he a struck a female patron in the face at a strip club, marks approximately the sixth time Pacman has been arrested since he was drafted. What a string of bad luck! Poor Pacman always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and people always seem to be running their faces into his fist (or bullets). And unfortunately for Pacman, this latest misunderstanding involved a female attorney, so I am sure that she will use some fancy legal-ese to make Pacman look like the bad guy here.

After having sat through a one-year suspension, Adam simply cannot afford another arrest on his rap sheet. Is there somezing he can do for Commissioner Goodell, or perhapz somezing he would like to do to Pacman, to avoid zis dilemma?